Men Rules

  • We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
  • Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

  • Crying is blackmail.

  • Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
  • Subtle hints do not work!
  • Strong hints do not work!
  • Obvious hints do not work!
  • JUST SAY IT!
  • ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  • A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
  • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
  • If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
  • If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
  • You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
  • Not both
  • If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  • Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
  • ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
    We have no idea what mauve is.
  • If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
  • If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  • If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
  • When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really.
  • You have enough clothes.
  • You have too many shoes.
  • I am in shape. Round is a shape.
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